On Being a Stepmom

I'm getting ready to move in with my boyfriend and his 4 yr old son, Judah. I love Judah dearly. We've spent time alone together when, for example, his dad goes to the store or needs to run an errand, but never for an extended period of time. I think about how excited I am to be spending more time with him all of the time, but it wasn't until today that I thought much about the stepmom element. I've thought about how I'm going to let José do the parenting when we're both home, but not about how I'll have to do the parenting when he's not. I suppose that will be a conversation we'll have soon. 

With all of that said, I don't have any issues with becoming a parent. I quit smoking and drinking for both my boyfriend and his son (and me, but those incentives were pretty major in the decision and ability). I love Judah and think he's the best thing ever. If José and I ever split up, I would still make sure Judah was part of my life. Judah has a mom so I'm not trying to replace her, but I would like to be his bonus mom. I'm doing well in school and I think about how I'll probably be the one, between José and I, that helps him with his homework. And I really enjoy dreaming about it. 

I'm not sure whether I want to have children or not and have always leaned toward not so I never thought I would be a mom! To be honest, I never really wanted to be, but now I'm stoked that I'll play that role in my life. Funny how life works. I lucked out that I got to miss the sleepless nights and diaper-changing stages. I'm also lucky in that Judah really is a terrific kid. I may be slightly biased, but I think if he wasn't, I could be honest with myself and just wouldn't say anything one way or the other. 

One of the things I love about my boyfriend is how much he loves his son and what a great dad he is-something I didn't have. He has done a great job of finding the perfect balance of being Judah's pal and being the parental figure he needs. And I look forward to doing the same.